Gundam Wing Celebrity Jeopardy
by Stoked
Summary: Saturday Night Live Celebrity Jeopardy With Gundam Wing Characters. First off its HeeroDuoTrowa, chapter 2 is RelenaWufeiDorothy.
1. Heero Duo Trowa

I do NOT own Gundam Wing. Nor do I own Saturday Night Live or Jeopardy. So don't sue. I have no money.  
  
Alex Trebeck: And welcome back to Gundam Jeopardy. Before we begin the double jeopardy round, I'd like to reassure the audience that all of Heero Yuy's weapons have been confiscated. With that said, let's take a look at the scores. Heero Yuy has obtained negative 23,313. Mostly by buzzing in and threatening the audience. When he wasn't threatening the audience he was threaten either Duo or myself.  
  
Heero: I may have sworn never to kill again, but there are things worse then death Trebeck. Keeping pushing me and I will show them to you.  
  
Alex Trebeck: Ummm.I'm not sure how to respond to that so I will just continue on. Duo Maxwell is in a close second place with negative 18,400. I would also like to add, that Duo does not control life and death, as he claims just about every time he rings in.  
  
Duo: Come on Alex, Tag Along on my journey to hell [pushes buzzer].  
  
Alex Trebeck: And you're an idiot. Trowa Barton has zero, in fact all game he has done nothing. Its gone so far that he actually stopped blinking about 2 minutes into the game.  
  
Trowa: .  
  
Alex Trebeck: Let's take a look at the board. First up is Your Name, Name This Color, Gods, and I'd like to point out that no answer in that category is Duo. Next up its popery, continuing on to Current Vice Foreign Ministers, Birthdays and finally Spatial Physics.and that last one is way to hard, so lets change that to just Space. Heero you're in 3rd place so the board is yours.  
  
Heero: My name is Heero Yuy. That's all the information you'll get from me, OZ scum.  
  
Alex Trebeck: [sighs] Duo why don't you go.  
  
Duo: I'll take my category for $600.  
  
Alex: Mr. Maxwell, you don't have a category.  
  
Duo: Yes I do, its right next to Name This Color.  
  
Alex: You are not a god. Nor will you ever be one. But I am not going to argue with you so here is the answer: "This is the god Jupiter was named after"  
  
[Duo buzzes in]  
  
Duo: Me, the god of death.  
  
Alex: For the very last time, you are not the god of death. And please remember to answer in the form of a question.  
  
[Trowa buzzes in]  
  
Trowa:.  
  
Alex: Well atleast he actually did something. And unless Mr. Yuy would like to more threatening references to people we'll just move on. [Heero Buzzes in] But I guess that was too much to hope for.  
  
Heero: Just you wait Trebeck, they can't keep my weapons forever.  
  
Alex: Splendid. And why don't we let Trowa pick a category.  
  
Trowa: ..  
  
Alex: Are we even sure Mr. Barton can speak? We are? Ok this is rather pathetic.  
  
Trowa: I take "Your Name" for $1,000  
  
Alex: Oh my god he speaks. Your answer is "say your name". Just forget about answering in the form of a question just say your name.  
  
[Duo buzzes in]  
  
Duo: God of Death  
  
Alex: Mr. Maxwell I hate you.  
  
[Heero Buzzes in]  
  
Heero: What is the god of death.  
  
Alex: I am not even going to dignify that with a response. Just some one pick a category, any category and any player.[Quite some times passes]. All right since the three of you have to combined IQ of a cockroach I will pick a category for you. [Duo buzzes in] What is it Mr. Maxwell?  
  
Duo: [Laughing] you said cock.  
  
Alex: .and the category is Current Vice Foreign Ministers for $800. She is the current Vice Foreign Minister. She is married to Mr. Yuy. You may use any alias she goes by.  
  
[Heero buzzes in]  
  
Heero: Who is Lady Une.  
  
[Duo buzzes in]  
  
Duo: [Pointing at Heero] He's wrong!! He's Wrong!!  
  
Alex: For the first time in history Mr. Maxwell is correct  
  
Duo: Yeah the correct answer is Catharine Bloom  
  
Alex: I'm speechless.  
  
[Trowa buzzes in]  
  
Trowa: Who is.. Uh.. Who is that guy, he has the weird hair.  
  
Alex: No.  
  
Trowa: No, I'm asking you who he is. I lent him $5 before the show and I just realized that's my cab money.  
  
Alex: And lets just move on to final jeopardy. Your final jeopardy question is: Where were you born.  
  
[Jeopardy music starts]  
  
Alex: Just simply write down where you where born. You can lie to us if you'd like and simply write down a location and you win. And Mr. Yuy appears to be writing way too much.  
  
[Jeopardy music ends]  
  
Alex: Let's just get this over with and quickly as possible. Heero Yuy, you answered, what appears to be a letter making several threatening references to the government. I am not even going to bother to see what you wagered, because I doubt you can count past 10.  
  
Heero: I can count Trebeck and there is one thing you can count on, and that me, waiting for you at your car after the show.  
  
Alex: And I will now be taking a cab home. Moving on to Mr. Maxwell, what was his answer? "I control". Let me guess you wager is Life and Death. And I was right. And finally we come to the last person, Mr. Barton, your answer, is what appears to be an advertisement for a circus.  
  
Trowa: I got paid $10 to do that.  
  
Alex: You understand you are playing for charity, right?  
  
Trowa: I have done enough good to last 5 lifetimes.  
  
Alex: This show just wouldn't end. Please don't stop watching jeopardy because of this. This will be the last time we do celebrity jeopardy. I promise.  
  
  
  
Review please. Good or bad just say something. 


	2. Relena Wufei Dorothy

I do NOT own Gundam Wing. Nor do I own SNL or Jeopardy. If you sue, you'll find out that my total worth is about $17.87. Currently seeking a proof reader for my infrequent writings. FF.N is messing up my tags. I've done my best to compinsate

All appearances are imposters, except where specifically noted in the credits, and no Gundam Wing character has endorsed this fan fiction. In direct retaliation, this fan fiction does not endorse any Gundam Wing Characters (Except for Hilde, pre episode thirteen).

Alex: And welcome back to Gundam Wing jeopardy. I'd just like to clarify something that happened before the commercial break, the mobile doll army that Dorothy was boasting about is actually an army of inanimate Barbie dolls. That having been said let's take a look at the board. In last place, we have Wufei Chang with negative $6,400. Wufei has spent most of his time complaining about being next to two women.

Wufei: Injustice! Women do not have the strength to compete on the battlefield.

Alex: This is a trivia game, _not_ a battlefield.

(Dorothy buzzes in)

Dorothy: There's a battle? Where? Why am I not involved?

Alex: What? There's no battle. What are you talking about?

Wufei: Come out and fight me Treize. Show yourself!

Relena: There will be no battles here-

(Alex cuts her off)

Alex: This is a game show, not a battlefield!

Relena: There will be no more battles anywhere. We must put aside our differences and work toward a common goal of peace. Only together can we achieve total pacifism.

Dorothy: Well said, Miss Relena.

Alex: (Sigh) Moving on. Relena Darlian, or Relena Peacecraft, or Relena Yuy, or Relena What-ever-the-hell-she's-calling-herself-at-the-moment is just a head of Wufei at negative $6,100. The sad part about this is that she is continually buzzing in and berating the game, comparing it to war.

Relena: If you look at it rationally, we still have two or more sides trying to defeat one another. The contestants must put aside there differences and work together to solve each problem. If we do this---

(Wufei cuts her off)

Wufei: Women! Will you just shut up?

(Relena glares at Wufei)

Alex: Nicely put. Finally, with a commanding lead is Dorothy Catalonia, with negative $23.42. How she got 42 cents, we have no idea. But it might have involved the short time she tried playing with the Zero system. Now let's take a look at the board; we have 'Your Birthday', 'Potpourri', 'Famous Relenas' and keep in mind that the answer to every question in this category is Relena Peacecraft, moving on it's 'Gundam Names', 'Shapes', 'Potent Potables' and finally 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'. Since Mr. Chang is in last place, he will get to choose first.

Wufei: Members of the Dragon Clan for 400.

Alex: That's not a category.

Wufei: Alright then. Alright I'll take Swords for 600.

Alex: Why don't we just let Miss Catalonia choose?

Dorothy: Mobile Dolls for 200.

Alex: Close enough. This is the only Gundam named Sandrock.

(Wufei buzzes in)

Wufei: Nataku.

Alex: That is incorrect.

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

(Relena buzzes in)

Relena: HHHHHEEEEEEEEEERRRRROOOOO!!!!! I'M RIGHT HERE! COME AND KILL ME!

(Dorothy buzzes in; she is wearing the mobile doll control helmet)

Alex: Miss Catalonia where did you get that helmet?

Dorothy: Now, my mobile dolls, attack! (Pointing at Alex)

(Quite some time passes and nothing happens)

Alex: And you're an idiot. Mr. Chang, why don't you pick?

Wufei: 'Rock, Paper, Scissors'.

Alex: And for how much.

(Wufei starts to slowly count on his fingers)

Alex: Let's just say 200. Following logic, remembering that category is rock, paper, scissors, if it's not rock, and it isn't paper, than it must be this.

(Dorothy Buzzes In)

Dorothy: Rock.

Alex: No. This means it's either paper or scissors, keeping in mind it can't be paper.

(Relena Buzzes In)

Relena: Paper.

Alex: And it's hard to believe you hold an important position in the government. Now the answer can only be scissors. Mr. Chang, just buzz in and say scissors.

(Wufei is still counting on his fingers)

Alex: (Sigh) why don't we just let Relena pick?

Relena: 'Famous Relenas' for 800.

Alex: This is the famous Relena of the Peacecraft family. She's standing next to Mr. Chang. If you had any intelligence at all you'd buzz in and say "Relena Peacecraft."

(Relena buzzes in)

Relena: Dorothy Catalonia.

Alex: (Angry) you suck.

Relena: (Angrily) but she's standing next to Wufei!

(Dorothy buzzes in)

Alex: Remember this is a famous Relenas.

Dorothy: I think she's right, I mean I am standing next to Wufei.

Alex: Just say the name of the person you think is right and you'll get the points.

Dorothy: I think Dorothy Catalonia is the correct answer.

Alex: I give up. Let's just move on to final jeopardy. And the question is, you know what I don't even care. (Rips up card) You're not going to get it right, so the new question is draw a square.

(Jeopardy Music Starts)

Alex: All you have to do is draw a square. It's not that hard. Hell, you can even draw a rectangle or a trapezoid and we'll accept it. Really all you have to do is make it have 4 sides.

(Jeopardy Music Ends)

Alex: Let's get this poorly written farce over with. Relena you answered...what appears to be documentation of how Jeopardy is equivalent to war.

Relena: The preventer's will be all over you now. There will be no more wars on earth.

Alex: Sure. Whatever. Wufei you answered "The dragon clan will rise again" and you wagered....nothing. You didn't write in a wager.

Wufei: I'm not going to risk my money for charity.

(Alex shakes his head in disgust)

Alex: Finally we come to Dorothy, who's still wearing that ridiculous helmet. She answered. A stick figure of herself with a rapier. Wonderful. And she wagered... what I think is a stick figure of Quatre with a rapier. This game finally comes to an end and if it was in my power, I'd shoot you all.


End file.
